apropos of anything

Y’all know the drill… if you’re tagged, you gotta do it, especially if you’re just sitting up waiting until it’s time for you to take your parasite pills, so here it goes:
Four Jobs I’ve Had in My Life…

Receptionist/secretary/assistant in a doctor’s office
News editor at the Technique
TA for the introductory CS classes at the CoC
The one I have now that I don’t want to elaborate on too much

	Like they say on TNT, the original is still the best (well, except for Empire, but I’m going to blur the line between the original movies, up until the point they leave Tatooine in Jedi

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over, and Have

Star Wars
Bend It Like Beckham
The Sound of Music
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Four Places I Have Lived

Chicago
Houston
Augusta, GA
Atlanta

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Gilmore Girls
Veronica Mars
Grey’s Anatomy

I am such a girl.

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation

Mumbai, India
Gatlinburg, Tennessee
Disney World!
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Four Books I Love

Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
The High King by Lloyd Alexander
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J. K. Rowling

This was a hard one; how do you pick just four? Most of these are one of a series, and I would have put the whole series if I could. Instead, I put either my favorite of the series or the reason I found the series in the first place. Also, religious books were not eligible as that wouldn’t be a fair fight!

Four Websites I Visit Daily

CNN
Television Without Pity
the BBC
My friends and strangers

Four Favorite Foods

Fish biryani with eggplant raita
Curry — not what most westerners consider curry, but the creamy yellow sauce that desi people call curry
Chicago-style deep dish pizza
Ice cream

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now

Mumbai: At the moment I am going through a horrible bout of homesickness for a place that isn’t technically even my home.
San Francisco: It’s beautiful and there are people I want to visit.
Medina: I love it so much the only reason I could bear to leave was because I was going to Mecca for the first time.
Spain: I want to see it!
Italy: Ditto!

Nowhere. East, west, hame’s best. Yes, I know that’s more than four.

Over 300 people died in the second day of stoning at this year’s hajj. The second day is typically the most dangerous because many pilgrims are trying to leave Mina, which they have to do before the sun sets and can’t do without completing the stoning ritual. Add in the extra wrinkle that most pilgrims don’t believe they can begin stoning until after the zuhr (afternoon) prayer and the short winter days, and you have a mix that’s just waiting for a stampede. Our group last year decided to stay in Mina one extra day, meaning we didn’t have a particular rush to do the stoning. It rained heavily that afternoon, clearing out the Jamarat area; our camp was immediately across from the Jamarat, so as soon as the rain stopped, our group ran across and did the ritual, which takes all of five minutes when there’s minimal crowd. Last year was also the first time the Saudis had replaced the tiny pillars with large walls, an innovation so ingenious I still can’t figure out why nobody thought to do it earlier. The wall gives you a larger surface area to hit; theoretically, that should reduce the amount of shoving and pushing to get to the front. I thought it worked well enough.

	The old style of the Jamarat pillars. This is the upper level. One year, the shoving was so intense the people at the front were actually pushed over the protective wall.

It seems everybody is pointing fingers about who’s at fault, with the hajjis blaming the Saudis for not providing enough security, and the Saudis claiming the hajjis didn’t follow the rules set for their safety. I wasn’t there, so I don’t know, but from the safety of my couch, I’m inclined to agree with the Saudis. This year’s stampede was caused by people tripping over dropped luggage. You’re not supposed to bring luggage to the Jamarat (too much of a crowd… the luggage gets in the way), but people did it anyway. And they’ll keep doing it anyway, even though all it takes to start a stampede is one person messing up or not following the rules. It seems like there’s no foolproof way to lower the risks, and all we can do is pray for the people who died, that insha’Allah their hajj will be accepted. At the same time, I don’t know that I’ll ever understand why almost everyone at the hajj, the pilgrimage for God, feels it’s okay to push and shove and elbow and trample. Sometimes you can’t help it because there’s so many people pushing from behind you that you’re not strong enough to keep the force from pushing you forward onto somebody else, but someone has to start the wave off, right?

*****

On my previous trip to India in 2002, I brought back stowaways in the form of lice (first time in my life ever that I had lice, so it took me almost three weeks to figure it out (I could not for the life of me understand why my head kept itching, and the physician’s assistant I saw in lieu of the busy doctor prescribed dandruff shampoo because apparently she was either blind or incredibly ill-informed) until Uzmaa suggested the possibility; then I had a massive, panicky freak-out, went to Kroger, even though it was midnight, for lice-killing shampoo, and sat up all night washing everything I’d ever owned in hot water). On this trip, I seem to have kept up my new tradition of allowing other organisms to hitch a ride to the States, although these are (I think) microscopic and living in my digestive tract. I’m showing all the symptoms for dysentery, a lovely third-world ailment that I know best from playing Oregon Trail as a child.

I haven’t really eaten anything that tastes good since Eid — haven’t really eaten much other than Gatorade and Jello, actually — so I cannot explain how much I am craving something rich and saucy at the moment. Obviously so much I’m blogging about it. I had planned on attempting a can of Campbell’s Chunky this evening until Dan pointed out that one can I’d chosen (chunky vegetables) had beef broth, and the other (mushroom ravioli with vegetables) had chicken broth… so it was back to plain old condensed tomato for me. If I had my druthers, it would have been a slice of Savage Pizza or some kabobs or zesty tilapia with mushrooms (if you’re following the link, watch the lime juice because two limes is one lime too many, in my opinion) with roasted potatoes. Food worsens the abdominal cramping, though, so I’m sticking to Gatorade and soup until the doctor’s office opens on Monday (or Tuesday… not sure if my doctor observes MLK day or not) and I can start a regimen of shiny happy drugs. I can’t remember the last time I looked so forward to antibiotics.

The lack of solid food means not only have I not gained back any of the weight I lost in India, I’ve lost more, putting me somewhere in the range of a whopping 102 pounds. That’s disturbing because I’m not actually twelve years old anymore. My American clothes are starting to be noticeably baggy. I’m worried that my Indian clothes are only a little large, as that means if/when I gain the weight back, they may be more fitted than I’d like.

*****

There is an art, I know, to conversation, but lately it seems that I’m encountering more and more people who haven’t even mastered the fingerpainting stage yet. And by “people”, I mean “men” since I can honestly I’ve yet to find a woman with the talent for saying exactly the wrong thing at exactly the right moment. It confuses me to no end as to what the problem is; how hard can it be to avoid saying something inappropriate or rude?

huda: Oh, and I love skiing.

conversation partner: I think skiing is the biggest waste of time there is, other than playing Chinese checkers.

or

huda: I have a nose ring.

conversation partner: Nose rings are so ugly.

Seriously. How? Why? How?

A woman would have said, “I’m not fond of skiing myself, but I know people who love it. What do you like best about it?” Or she would have said, “I could never imagine getting my nose pierced! What prompted you to do it?” Or something else, anything else that didn’t smack so much of buffoonery. I’d be grateful if somebody could explain the how, or the why, or the what in the hell.

*****

I’ve been watching my beloved Bend It Like Beckham while writing this, partly because I adore it, partly because I crave the background noise, and partly to wash the violent Reaver images from Serenity out of my head so I don’t have bad dreams tonight. John Rhys-Meyers is in the new Woody Allen pic (also starring Scarlett Johansson), but for some reason I’m having a hard time seeing him as anything but soccer coach Joe. I didn’t have that problem with Parminder Nagra or Keira Knightley. It may just be that I haven’t seen Rhys-Meyers in anything but BILB, not even that made-for-TV Elvis biopic he did a while back.

Serenity is a good movie, just in a different way. Tonight was my first time watching the movie since Alicia and I went to the preview showing this summer. We were at the third preview, at which point I think most of the edits were done, since the film I watched tonight very closely mirrored the one I saw then. I’ve spent a good deal of my sick time watching the Firefly DVDs Mandi was sweet enough to send me for Christmas, so tonight Dan and AM suggested re-watching Serenity in lieu of going out when I might I have to make a break for the bathroom three times in an hour.

It’s been quite a movie night for me, but BILB is almost done, and so is this post, I think.

For most of the summer, we heard non-stop whinging about the box-office slump, hand-wringing over the decreased sales, rocket-scientist-type extrapolating about why, exactly, the American consumer wasn’t flocking to the theaters as usual. It was probably because, with a few exceptions, the summer crop of movies sucked royally; additionally, movie tickets have gotten ridiculously expensive, so people are a little more selective of what they’ll go see.

Oscar season is upon us now, which means the movies should theoretically be better. I’ve got a list of the ones I want to see… but then, I usually have a list and end up seeing only one or two movies on it, and one or two movies not on it, as that’s how circumstances generally turn out. (For example, I didn’t want to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire because the actor playing Mad-Eye Moody wasn’t nearly so skinny as I expected a paranoid Auror to be, but I got talked into it anyway.)

Without further ado, though, here’s my tentative list through December:

Joaquin Pheonix is Johnny Cash

Walk the Line I’ve been watching the growing buzz about this movie for a while now. By all accounts, it should be an amazing film with solid performances all around, especially by Reese Witherspoon as June Cash. Witherspoon was excellent in Election, so I’m not as surprised as some that she’d be good in a non-romantic comedy role. Despite the abundant praise, I had a hard time finding a screenshot with her in it; obviously, I didn’t use one. Walk the Line looks like it’s telling a wonderful story, and telling it well, and I am all about good storytelling.

	This one’s Edward R. Murrow’s story

Good Night and Good Luck It’s a journalism movie. It’s about the McCarthy era. Of course I’m going to see this one. I’ve always been fascinated by that period of history, especially how the advent of television news reshaped public opinion and influenced the turn of events. Doesn’t hurt that the movies made about this era generally turn out well, either. The black-and-white footage only adds to its appeal. I am curious to see whether they will find a way to include the very famous quote from the trials (“Have you no decency, sir?”). Reading the press coverage for this movie puts me in mind of Katharine Graham’s absorbing memoir, Personal History (which, if you haven’t read, you should), which in turn always makes me wonder, if Watergate were to happen now, would we be able to uncover it?

Paradise Now This foreign film, directed by an Arab man, attempts to show how normal, everday, nonfanatical people become suicide bombers. The reviews have been very positive, saying the movie takes an objective look and doesn’t force its opinions upon the viewers. I think it’s a daring thing to do, creating a movie about suicide bombers, and I want to see what the film has to say. The only problem is going to be finding a theater in Atlanta that’s showing it.

Zhang’s geisha performs for her audience

Memoirs of a Geisha I’ll say straight-up that I didn’t like the book by Arthur Golden. Or, rather, I didn’t like the ending of the book by Arthur Golden. It offended my sense of right and wrong, of what should be due people who go out of their way to support you. (The writing, however, was beautiful.) When I first heard of the movie adaptation, I figured I’d pass, but now that I’ve seen the commercials… I’m a sucker for period pieces and costume dramas, of which this is both. And Ziyi Zhang was so good in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, I don’t expect to be too caught up in the whole she’s-not-actually-Japanese thing for very long. I’ve read articles that say the movie is too soft on Japan in the war scenes; it’s been so long since I read the book that I can’t say how it would compare, but I can understand the controversy the issue is causing in Asia.

Syriana This is the second George Clooney movie on my list (Good Night, and Good Luck being the first), but I didn’t pick it for the Clooney factor. Rather, I loved Traffic, and I want to see the same team take on the oil issues that are surrounding us today. I wonder whether it will be able to deliver its message as cleanly as Traffic did. I also wonder what that message is.

	Can Keira Knightley really do justice to my darling Lizzie Bennet?

Pride and Prejudice I usually have a thing about the film versions of books I love: I won’t go anywhere near them. I know what all the characters and all the sets look like. I don’t need to see somebody else’s interpretation of it all. I certainly don’t need to see some actress who hasn’t read the original Austen try and be Elizabeth Bennett, as I suspect Aishwarya Rai did with her Lalita in Bride and Prejudice last year. I’ve heard great things about the six-hour BBC version of this book. Amena even gave me a copy of it earlier this summer, but I’ve yet to watch it, partly because it’s a six-hour movie, and partly because I’m terrified of ruining this story for myself. I love it so very much. And yet, there’s a part of me that kind of wants to see both the new cinematic release and the original BBC version, just to see what they’re like. There’s another part of me that’s already figuring out which show date and time would be best for the theatrical version coming to town this winter. I’ve heard mixed reviews about the movie (except for the fog scene, which Shireen promises is fabulous…. and I want to counter, “But there’s no fog scene in the book!”), and I tend to think Keira Knightley is a little overrated. At the very least, she wasn’t my favorite Bend it Like Beckham actress!

I’m leaving for India soon, insha’Allah, and the few remaining days I have are quickly becoming crammed with work issues and last-minute shopping, so I’m not sure if I’ll have a chance to see even one of these movies before I leave. Perhaps I’ll blitz them all in after I come back, but if not… there’s always DVD.

I love Bend It Like Beckham. I can quote lines from memory. I watch the DVD regularly, especially on the difficult days, and I listen to the soundtrack at work all the time. I love, love, love Bend It Like Beckham.

So it was with great anticipation that I looked forward to Gurinder Chadha’s latest effort, a Pride and Prejudice take-off starring Aishwarya Rai in the Elizabeth Bennet role. And it was with great boredom and annoyance that I walked out of the theater tonight after the movie ended.

The only way this particular film doesn’t suck royally is if Chadha is spoofing the

	Darcy chases after Lalita in Los Angeles

stereotypical Bollywood movie. Bride and Prejudice has all the trademarks: splashy dance sequences and spontaneous fits of über-cheesy singing, ridiculous dialogue, even more ridiculous fight scenes, and wooden acting. It’s a movie that certainly has fun with itself, but claiming pedigree from Jane Austen’s unmatched Pride and Prejudice requires some responsibility as well.

I think that may be my largest problem with the movie: if you’re going to use Pride and Prejudice to sell yourself, if you’re going to claim to be a Bollywood version of the classic novel, make some effort to capture the spirit of the work. It’s not dancing transvestites or American-flag-inspired underwear, that much I can tell you. Very little of the satire or social commentary from Austen’s work makes it into this particular interpretation.

Also, I appreciate a fun movie as much as the next person. I’ve even been known to complain that people’s DVD collections are “too serious.” Everything in moderation, though, and if there are more scenes that make me cringe (whether from cheese or from pity for a character’s truly desperate action) than genuinely touch me, it’s time for the movie to dial back the fun a little. I’m not the party-all-night-with-a-kegger kind of girl.

Then, we get to the cast. Martin Henderson’s Will Darcy doesn’t have leading-man charisma. He’s less suave and more inarticulate, and he’s always unsure of himself. The superb Anupam Kher is sadly underused while Nadira Babbar’s spot-on Mrs. Bakshi, like pepper when taken in large doses, is sometimes rather scorching. Namrita Shirodkar turns in a credible performance as Jaya… until the “shy, quiet one” starts dancing around in her pajamas singing “No Life Without Wife” like a Radio City Rockette. And Aishwarya? Proved once again that she is, and always will be, a Bollywood actress. Hindi films require their leading lady to be lovely and coquettish; the characters are routinely “spunky” and have an amazing ability to banter beautifully with their male co-star(s). Aishwarya does as much as any Bollywood extravaganza would ask of her, but she never manages to become the endearing, witty, loveable character she’s meant to be. Some of the blame lies in the shoddy script; the rest falls squarely on Aishwarya’s pretty shoulders.

Ash is certainly stunning, but she comes off more bitchy than witty as Lalita Bakshi

Finally, for all the protesting Lalita does about Indians, their place in the world, and the brutal exploitation they suffer from the British and the Americans, this film does not exactly paint Indians or India in a positive light. Lalita snipes at Darcy that tourists never see the “real India”; we movie-goers see precious little of it too. Many of the natives are silly, dirty, uneducated, money-grubbing, or some combination thereof; the characters with class and culture are all raised in the West, and even those Indians who’ve emigrated to Western countries are unbelievably absurd. Two words: Cobra. Dance. Jaya and Lalita, their father Mr. Bakshi, and possibly Chanda are the only Indian-born Indians who retain a modicum of sense and composure.

My iron-clad faith in Gurinder Chadha has certainly been shaken. Bride and Prejudice was not a movie I enjoyed seeing in the theater because then I had to sit through all of it without the luxury of a pause or a fast-forward for all the frivolous — and frequently subpar — songs. I did like the opening sequence of the movie; the fun hadn’t worn thin yet, it was beautifully shot, and it had the just the right amount of Bollywood atmosphere. Perhaps as I think about it more, I’ll find more to like. In the meantime, though, I’m content knowing there’s little chance I’ll ever have to see it again.

Can somebody, anybody, PLEASE tell me what’s going on with Debra Messing’s hair in the promos for The Wedding Date? It’s so sharp and frizzy at the bottoms, and it looks like it’s been plastered to her head. Also dyed badly, although I thought she was a natural redhead. I can’t watch even ten seconds of that commerical because my eyes are forcibly drawn to that hideous, horrible hair.

Also, has it occurred to Dermot Mulroney that perhaps he might want to try something other than the wedding comedy?

	Bob (aka Mr. Incredible) isn’t bad either, even if he is a little dim.

You can groan if you like. I’ll wait.

If you haven’t gone to see The Incredibles yet, please go do so now. Yes, now. Work can wait for this fun, hilarious, and intelligent movie. It’s not just for kids!

I think Jack-Jack is my favorite character, although I like Dash’s powers the best and identify with Violet the most.

I said, “I really don’t like George Lucas. Han Solo shot first.”
Ken said, “I have no idea what that means.”
I said, “!!!!!!”

I said, “Ivan, Ken doesn’t know what I mean when I say Han Solo shot first.”
Ivan said, “What DO you mean?”

I went to the bathroom and cried.

Any SCJohnson advertisers who may be reading: Drano is some darn powerful stuff.

That is just one of the things I learned tonight. Even diluted in a sea of water, Drano does a marvelous job of burning your hands. Fortunately, mine were only submerged for a few seconds, and even then only a few fingertips. The RN at the
Optum Nurse Line thinks I’ll be just fine in a day or two.

I also discovered how to undo my bathroom sink, although removing the drain stop proved unachievable, much to my ire. I’ve seen other people do it, and my parents are missing drain stops in half their sinks because they chose not to put them back in. How come I couldn’t do it? And how come there are no instructions on Google?

If you’re wondering how I came to learn all these amazing bits of information, it’s because I accidentally washed my much-maligned nose ring down the bathroom sink. And then because I hadn’t Drano’d the drain recently and I couldn’t extract the drain stop, I had to pour down the Drano and run some water and trust it came to out the other end. I’m not entirely sure if I’ll ever wear it again (judging by the job the Drano did on my hands, there’s no way I’m putting that thing back in my nose until it has been boiled and rubbed down with alcohol), but I am glad to have it back. I’m also hoping I put the sink back together properly; it seemed okay when I tested it, but as I was doing the 15-minute hand-washing frenzy (to counteract the diluted Drano, of course), it leaked a tad. And then a lot. So… we’ll see? I guess I’ll be checking under the sink every day for the next week or so…

Mmm, cherries. They’re even good not as a restaurant!

The earlier part of my evening was good, though. Sarah and I went to Cherry, which may possibly have become my new favorite yuppie restaurant. The decor is gorgeous, even when taking into account my bias towards all things red, and the food is even better. I am not quite sure how the cherry theme fits into their Asian fusion cuisine, but I would eat this food even if the restaurant were called Camembert. Sarah kept comparing her tuna to steak, and my grouper was fabulous. I think I may have to go once a month!

We followed it up with a showing of Raising Helen, which was not as bad as I thought it might be. Formulaic, yes. I spent part of the movie disliking Helen, although I had fun watching her maneuver the fashion world. My recommendation? Rent it with friends, especially so you can fully mock the horrible prom dress.