apropos of anything

I’ve missed these.

Reading something that reminds of where you are, and where you should be. Sameera has been using this poem by Hazrat Inayat Khan as her Gchat status for over a week now, and it’s so beautiful I can’t stop reading it every time I sign on:

I asked for strength
and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom
and God gave me problems to learn to solve.

I asked for prosperity
and God gave me a brain and brawn to work.

I asked for courage
and God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for love
and God gave me people to help.

I asked for favors
and God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted.

I received everything I needed.

There have been so many days lately where I am angry and sad, and perhaps that is because I have been pushing myself so hard and therefore have always been hovering right around exhausted, or perhaps it is because I forgot that things are bigger than me, and while I may not understand why God does things, He does, and I should trust Him.

I am looking for a place that will print and mat this for me, for my office and for my home. This, and the dua that Dave made at Mansoor and Ayesha’s valima… am wondering if Papyrus or Sam Flax would do it for me.

Waking up when it’s cold outside and realizing your toes are toasty warm. There’s a line in Richard Adams’s Watership Down about how people who say they like the cold don’t really like the cold so much as they like the knowledge that they are secure against the cold. At first I took offense — I do like the cold, I do! I have so many more fashion options when it’s cold outside! — but with time I’ve come to acknowledge that he’s at least partly right. There’s such a lovely, drowsy feeling about curling up under blankets and being perfectly warm when it’s below freezing outside, like perhaps I was meant for hibernation and it’s just by accident that I’m a human and not a bear.

Funny little tidbits that pop up unannounced. These are the things that keep me going, especially on the tough days. My Twitter feed is a great reliable source, like when @shawnamama tweeted, “Noah: Mom, you said if I was good at the library, I could watch Dora. Me: I did. Noah: I was very good, except I ate my boogers sometimes” or when @poniewozik posted nothing with a hashtag that said #WorkIFeelLikeDoingToday. And even moreso, the people around me every day are full of hilariousness that make me laugh quietly to myself weeks and months later. I appreciate them, and I very much appreciate the ones who indulge my inclination for the occasional ridiculous and keep up the running jokes. It’s a small thing, but especially on the tough days, it means the difference between pushing through and hiding under my desk in the fetal position.

Photo credit: Tea.

I don’t know why I couldn’t get this written on Thursday. I think the combination of getting sick last weekend and fasting this week has really clobbered me; I’ve come home every day this week near catatonic, often ending up asleep before 11 p.m.

Tonight, though, I napped in the car for an hour as we drove to Augusta for Eid-ul-Adha weekend, and now suddenly I am simultaneously exhausted and wide awake, thinking about blog posts I didn’t write. So… here we go.

1. The people at work. I’ve said it before, but really I am so lucky to be surrounded by so many smart, kick-ass, funny people all day at work. As stressful as my job can be sometimes, if I had to do it with people I had less fun with, I don’t know that I’d be able to manage.

2. One day at a time. The things you think you can’t do, you can, so long as you do it one day at a time. And the things you can’t handle, you can, because you do it one day at a time, and God promised He will never give you more than you can take, which means you’re really stronger than you think you are.

3. Electrolytes. Because without them, you’d die.

1. “We WANT our point back.” (pause) “Well, I suppose when you’re winning by SO MUCH, one point doesn’t really matter, right? Let’s give it to them.”

2. “I can’t believe you let me talk about a freaking air mattress for 15 minutes before you told me that.”

3. “400 cookies are for weenies. Next time we do 800!”

I really really love my friends.

Wow. Haven’t done one of these in a while. Here we go:

1. Voting. I wanted to vote on Election Day, but this year the turnout is so high that I didn’t want to take the chance of getting stuck in a line for eight hours and being late for work (despite not having to go into work until 1 p.m. so I can help with election coverage), so yesterday I went with Alicia down to the Pryor St. polling station to vote early.

As it was just above freezing outdoors, I’m grateful Pryor St. had enough space to allow us to line up inside, even if the line did ultimately resemble a snail shell and even if Alicia and I did walk around like bemused tourists as we looked for the end of said line. We thought by going together we’d at least be able to keep each other company while we waited our turn, but for at least half the time, she held my place in line while I drafted emails on scraps of paper and then did a conference call on HER blackberry while typing out the final emails on MY blackberry.

It was about this time that I began to wonder if I’ve become a stereotype.

The line moved quickly (we finished in just over two hours), very much because of the efforts of the poll workers, who were organized and efficient and kept us organized and efficient. They’d learned from the mistakes Gwinnett County made earlier this week too; as we got closer to the actual polls, they made us turn off our cell phones and blackberries because they interfered with the voting machines.

It was about this time that I knew I’d become a stereotype.

I wish I’d remembered to take my camera. This is an election I definitely want recorded for posterity, especially because despite recent stories about the race tightening, I still have faith that my guy will win (and if you don’t know who that is, you must be new to this blog).

Barack Obama cleans up after a spill in an ice cream parlor in Iowa.
Photo courtesy of Time magazine’s Callie Shell.

I voted for the guy who cleans up after himself when he spills ice cream (instead of walking away assuming somebody else will do it). I figure if he does it in his daily life, he will do it as our president. Oh, and also, the guy who gets his shoes resoled (instead of spending $150,000 on designer clothing):

Barack Obama’s resoled shoes. Photo courtesy of Time magazine’s Callie Shell.
Click on the photo to see the whole amazing set.

And finally, the guy who knows he has a lot to learn, who admits it, and who finds a way to make me respect him even more:

“I’m reminded every single day that I am not a perfect man. I will not be a perfect president… But I can promise you this: I will always tell you what I think and where I stand. I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you when we disagree. And, most importantly, I will open the doors of government and ask you to be involved in your own democracy again.”

So anyway, voting is beautiful, and I am so glad and grateful I was able to do it this year. I hope you did too, or are planning to go on Election Day.

(And yes, Geoff, I did vote for Jim Martin too.)

2. Ambition. Or, possibly, insanity. I’m not quite sure what to call my plans for this weekend, which include pulling two volunteer shifts for Barack Obama and also baking four hundred (or more) cookies for the people volunteering for him on Election Day. Alicia and I have it planned out, have taken into account allergies and food restrictions, have determined on which days to mix which batter and which days to slice and bake which dough so that on Tuesday all cookies are at maximum freshness.

We’re making world peace cookies, twice-baked shortbread (some of which we will half-dip in chocolate), lemon and lime bars, and the New York Times chocolate chip cookies.

I’ve had an itch to bake lately, so at least the timing on this is good because I suspect in 48 hours I will be sick of the sight of creamed butter and chocolate chips. That’ll free us up to start churning out cupcakes like Bree Van de Kamp.

If we can pull it off, I’ll feel like we accomplished something, and like we contributed tangibly to the Obama effort, and these days, in my world, that’s the height of beauty.

3. Trying. Over the last week month or two three, I’ve really felt like there is too much going on and that it’s a struggle every day just to keep my head above water. I keep telling myself that in X weeks things will get better, but X is a moving target that just keeps moving. So far, though, I have not yet pulled a Meredith, and for that I am proud of myself, that I haven’t yet decided to stop trying.

I only have five minutes, so here we go:

1. Being one of the millions of voices calling for change. He won the battle, and now it’s time to focus on the war.

2. The grand opening of the new Masjid Al-Farooq tomorrow. If it feels like we’ve been waiting years for this, it’s because we have. I would so love to go to jummah tomorrow, but the crowd and the timing makes it unlikely… but maybe I’ll stop by for ‘asr.

3. Finding the funny. Sometimes, when the door to the room next door simply won’t open, you just have to resign yourself to the worst… and then laugh at it.

Coming tomorrow because a) my carpal tunnel has been acting up and b) some unexpected work blindsided me this evening. I know what I want to say, though, so… tomorrow.

In other news, lemon yogurt cake is even yummier when you actually top it with the lemon/sugar syrup, but I think if I were going to adapt it into muffins, I’d leave the syrup off. And much as I love the lemon/blackberry (blueberries are currently expensive, blackberries are currently on sale, you do the math), the next time I make it, I think I’m trying the orange/chocolate combination.

I meant to do a 3BT last week and didn’t get to it. I was going to do one this week (as in, today), but then I saw Aisha’s post listing off 30 things she loves, and thought, why not? So, here we go:

1. Faith. It keeps me going, keeps me focused, keeps me grateful every day for the favors that have been granted me.
2. The faithful. They inspire me to new heights.
3. And speaking of inspiration… change we can believe in. For the first time in a long time, I am hopeful. I am optimistic. I really believe, yes, we can.
4. Kids. They’re so darn cute:

5. Baseball. Opening Day is just…. four short days away, and I am beside myself with glee. I cannot wait to get back to Turner Field.
6. Adding a new recipe to my repertoire. It’s lovely to find one that’s so delicious you know you’ll be making it again and again.
7. Georgia Navigator. Keeping me informed every day so I know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and when to run.
8. Harry Potter. The books are mesmerizing and magical.
9. Sunlight. So pure and so clean.
10. Friends. Don’t know what I’d do without them.
11. Odyssey of the Mind. Every year, those kids just bowl me over with the breadth of their creativity and energy.
12. The No Cookie List. Even though I’ve never actually enforced it, putting names on and taking them off the list amuses me to no end.
13. Toodles.
14. Philosophy’s Purity face wash and Hope in a Jar lotion. Finally I can stop feeling like I just attacked my face with a brillo pad.
15. Screen on the Green. Easily my favorite Atlanta summer festival.
16. Shake at the Lake. Second favorite Atlanta summer festival.
17. Battlestar Galactica. If this is a surprise to you, you obviously haven’t spoken to me recently.
18. A perfectly matching hijab. Hard to find, but so awesome when I do.
19. Lilies. Easiest way to get me to go all sentimental.
20. Blankets. On a cold day, there is nothing better to snuggle under.
21. Chocolate. Like you seriously didn’t think it would make the list.
22. My job. And yes, people who know me well will probably wonder whether I dipped into my secret stash of Good Stuff, but as frustrated as I sometimes get with work, it still remains that I am lucky to do what I do and to be able to work with the (mostly) awesome people that I work with, people who are really more friends than colleagues.
23. Peep-toe heels. So adorable.
24. Itr, and body splashes, and all those things that smell good. (I swear, anybody who comments to tell me I am going to hell, I will immediately block your IP. We had enough of that nonsense last year.)
25. Berries of all kinds. Bright and summery, I love them in all their incarnations.
26. Snow. It’s easy to love when you only get it once a year or so.
27. Cell phones. Seriously, what did we do before we had these?
28. And along those lines… the Internet. No explanation necessary, I believe.
29. Airports. Getting me from here to there in almost no time at all.
30. My brothers.

Things I do not love:
1. Wordpress editing my code because it thinks it knows better.
2. Stalkers. Dude who keeps hitting my site because he’s repeatedly Googling my cousin: You do realize that’s extremely creepy, don’t you?

Y’all, I can’t seem to stop moving. There’s too much going on, and a disproportionate amount of my energy is going to dealing with teenage drama (or at least that which resembles teenage drama). Right now, the most beautiful thing ever would be a day off from my life… which I expect to get sometime around 2009.

In the meantime, three beautiful things:

1. Blankets in cold weather. I love being able to curl up under layers of warmth when it’s 20 degrees outside. Blankets may be my favorite part of winter.

2. Coming home to a clean house. SO AWESOME.

3. Noticing that while Borders has plenty of Clinton and McCain ‘08 calendars in the discount bin, there’s nary an Obama calendar to be found.

I hadn’t even reached the parking deck on my way home today before I called Aisha to tell her I’d just had a horrible day. It’s shattering to realize somebody you thought knew you well and respected your abilities and professionalism doesn’t actually at all.

And then I got home and read this. And so far tonight’s episode of Ugly Betty is not amusing me so much as annoying me… so you know what that means. It’s time to find three beautiful things.

Sunflowers. I’ve been doing a lot of research on sunflowers, and the more I look at them, the more I love them. They’re so bright and big and beautiful, and they light up a room. They are the epitome of cheer, so much that it’s hard to be grumpy in their presence. A whole field full of them… why, that’s exactly the antidote when Gloomy Gus drops by for an unexpected, extended visit.

Discovering new authors. The authors you know are comfortable. You’re guaranteed good writing, or good characterization, or good brainless soapiness. The authors you don’t know are kind of like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates, so it’s always lovely and amazing to find one who is so good you can’t wait to read all of their other work. Amy Ephron got me hooked last week, and Ian McEwan is certainly doing his best as well, even if it’s only as a study in the art of good writing.

Laughing at silliness. Possibly when you are ending a conversation, you say, “Cool.” And possibly I, who am inadvertently listening (I won’t say eavesdropping because that seems so foul and nefarious, and also deliberate), hear you say, “Toodles.” And possibly you are indignant at the very idea of toodles because it offends your sensibilities, delicate, fragile things that they are. And possibly you offer to call your recent conversation partner back to prove that you didn’t say toodles, that toodling never entered your mind. Possibly all or none of these things happened but still they make me laugh, and today especially, that is beautiful.

I have another post in my head. It’s late, which matters as it’s somewhat timely, but I’m going to get over that and to the 3BT today because it’s Thursday and because I haven’t in a while and because thirty years ago this weekend, a movie changed the course of cinematic history.

If you think I don’t love Star Wars… you don’t really know me that well. So, today, three random things, possibly not even my three favorite things, about the original Star Wars movies.

1. The uneven dialogue plus the uneven acting. “Many Bothans… died to bring us this information.” Right, lady. It’s not a great line to work with, but you didn’t even try to sell it. And yet, despite all that, people (myself included) love these movies. They’re so incredibly flawed — the first three, at least; the second three are hopelessly beyond repair — but there’s still something magical about them that sucks you in, gets you to snicker when Leia calls Chewbacca a walking carpet, and keeps you glued to the screen for viewing after viewing.

2. “I know.” Legend has it that Harrison Ford, notorious for flying by the seat of his pants, ad-libbed this Empire Strikes Back line during one of the takes, and it worked so well they incorporated it into the final cut. It’s perfectly in keeping with the Han Solo the smuggler, Han Solo the pirate, who wouldn’t be likely to announce (especially in front of the enemy) that he loved Princess Leia even if it was pretty obvious that he did.

3. The pop culture impact. Han Solo shot first. The odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field are approximately 3,720 to 1. Princess Leia is not, nor will she ever be, a committee. And of course, Darth Vader is your father (which means we’ll forget about the time that you kissed your sister).
May the Force be with y’all.