apropos of anything

Heather pulls into a gas station to restock on basic supplies (e.g. sugar and caffeine). Leta and I have been napping in the back seat, but she wakes up as the car stops moving and decides to join Heather and Jason on their run. I wake up to the slamming of the car door and hear them discussing whether it would be okay to leave me alone and asleep in the car, so I wave cheerily at them to convey that I was awake, yes, but I’d be staying in the car. They wave back, and Heather uses the remote control to lock the car.

A few minutes later, Leta meanders back outside. I hold up one of three chocolate bars that I’d fished out of a bag in the back seat and gesture emphatically to indicate that I’d be taking this one, please. She gestures back that I am not making any sense. I reach over and slowly unhook my seat belt, and then, equally slowly, unlock the door. Leta watches me dispassionately from the outside as though she’s curious what my next move will be. I open the car door.

The car alarm blares.

Leta doubles over with laughter. I am cracking up myself, and also trying to figure out how to turn the alarm off from inside the car (as obviously outside the car makes the car angry). It takes me only a few seconds to realize there is no way to do this without the keys.

Meanwhile, inside the convenience store, way in the back, Jason looks at Heather and asks, “Is that our car?” And because she is a wise, wise woman, she sighs, rolls her eyes, and says, “YES.”