apropos of anything

Friday night was khatamul Quran at Al Farooq (and at ICNF, and in Augusta, and, I’m sure in half a dozen other mosques around the metro Atlanta area (not that Augusta is metro Atlanta by any means, but I know for sure they had it there). It’s one of the Ramadan rituals that I will always find a way to try to attend, even if it means contorting myself and my schedule in spectacular pretzel-like fashion. I love the crescendo leading up to the final surahs, and I love the du’a at the end, and I love the powerful emotional impact of feeling like you’ve accomplished something as you stand there at the end, thinking through all the surahs that have been read through all the nights of prayer over the past 27 days (because Al Farooq, like most other mosques, always finishes on the 27th night). This year was especially beautiful, in our brand new spacious masjid that despite its size was packed to the brim, so much that people were praying on out in the marble hallways.

And I love the post-khatam days when the taraweeh no longer has a daily script, freeing the imam to read the surahs people recognize, like Ar-Rahman or Ya Sin, so that even though the prayers themselves are shorter, the connection, the focus remains because instead of concentrating on the progress through the Quran you are instead concentrating on the verses you know so well. But the arrival of the post-khatam days also means the month is almost over, and while that makes me sad every year, this year it’s like a physical hurt, like I can’t catch my breath, because how can Ramadan already be over?

I think it is because I know that this year I did not do all that I could, that this year I let the length of the day and the demands of my job interfere with my dedication to Ramadan, and I want another week, or two if I could get it, to do it all the right way. And because I take indescribable comfort in the structure of Ramadan, the pattern it gives my days; while they might be difficult and busy, when I am on my game and taking full advantage of all the month has to offer, they are also incredibly satisfying.

I will miss Ramadan. I want it to stay.

But I suppose we can’t always get what we want, so instead of being sad over the course of the remaining few days, I am going to take advantage of this 29th night of Ramadan, a possible lailatul qadr night because He says to call on Him and He will answer. I began this post with the intention of sharing again, but I don’t think I can anymore, so instead — mubarak, and enjoy the end of Ramadan, and pray for me, please, because I will be praying for you.

(Top picture courtesy of Taha Kazi. Bottom two pictures courtesy of http://www.boston.com. Clicking on any of the pictures will take you to the original photo.)