When you’re too tired to sleep
That’s when you blog because you can’t sleep anyway, even though you should be since you spent the majority of the day walking around like the sludge at the bottom of somebody’s coffee pot and since you’re supposed to get up early tomorrow to run a few miles — because you haven’t in a few days and because you feel like a walking tub o’ lard since you’ve spent the weekend chowing down on chocolate pot de creme and fish biryani and plum crisp and cheeseburgers — and also wash your hair before work.
It’s hard to sleep when your brain won’t shut off, but it gets plain ridiculous when it’s full of frivolous things, like how you like Tuesdays because that’s when the new movies and music gets released, or how mortified you were that time at work when one of your managers asked you what you planned to shop for in India, and you said, “Oh, the usual: shoes, clothes, handbags, jewelry,” and one of your teammates said, “Husbands,” and for once in your life you couldn’t think of a thing to say because your brain decided the middle of a launch was a perfectly acceptable time to shut off.
When you close your eyes, and your eyes go, “Ahhh, refreshing,” you’d think your brain would get the hint instead of creating an Excel sheet in your head for how to best consume all of the extra food in your refrigerator and on what days to do it. Or trying to figure out where to look to replace your Superman pajamas when they finally break down; the man may be of steel, but the pj’s bearing his insignia are of mere cloth.
Sometimes you just have to break out the Big Girl Voice that lectured yourself out of bed that morning and MAKE yourself go to sleep because you just can’t spend another day overusing the word “literally” while spelling it “literarly.” After all, kids don’t just discipline themselves.
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