apropos of anything

As a child, I had a thing for big earrings. I was convinced there was no point in wearing earrings unless everyone could see them, and also, we were still sitting on the tail end of the 80s at the time.

I outgrew the phase, eventually coming to the conclusion that smaller was classier and it didn’t matter if nobody else could see my earrings so long as I knew they were there. Chandelier earrings are the rage now, but while I love seeing them on other people, I rarely wear any myself as the pretty-yet-dangly jewelry is not entirely conducive with hijab-wearing, particularly if you wrap your hijab tightly around your head the way I frequently do.

And then I went to India, where I am the youngest (the only exceptions being my three younger brothers) in a very large clan, which means that nobody really listens to my objections about there being no point in wearing large earrings under my hijab. I wore, under protest, the earrings that were handed to me and paid the price later as my tight hijab caused the earring posts to begin boring a second set of piercings into my neck. But I wore them because in India, that’s what you do.

The second set of earrings they wanted me to wear had a different type of post, one that would hold up well with all kinds of hijabs, so I just kept those on for fear that the next pair would not be so friendly. When it was time to go, I took them off and returned them to their owner… who promptly gave them back to me and told me to keep them. I don’t know if that kind of thing happens all the time in India, but it’s certainly a frequent event in my family. We’ve got the routine down pat now, the giver insisting, me refusing, the giver pulling the seniority card, me caving. It’s a dance we do.

I’m wearing them now. Of all the jewelry I brought back, these earrings that I didn’t really want to take are the ones I love the most. “They were mine, but now they’re yours because you’re my little sister.” Only in India am I anybody’s little sister.

I will likely keep wearing the earrings until I stop missing India quite so badly. Miss it badly I do, despite the horrible plane ride, despite having to watch everything I eat or drink, despite the crowds and the climatic changes, because there are so many people there who have a claim on me, and on whom I have a claim, and because everything is different, yet I still belong.

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